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  • Writer's pictureDiana Fletcher

But HOW Do I Let Go?

Updated: Apr 18, 2019

Let go of it all! #selflove

It can be difficult to “Let Go.” We don’t want to let go of a friend who has left us or let go of a lover who has moved on. We may not want to let go of our strong beliefs about a situation even when we know we may be wrong. We don’t want to let go of foods that are bad for us, or habits that could be hurting our health.

In order to live healthy, happy lives, we must learn to let go of the things that don’t serve us anymore.

Maybe those desserts you love making are becoming a problem because you are eating too much sugar and putting on weight. Those drinks on Friday after work are not helping you relax like they used to. This may lead to binge drinking and not being able to remember events.

You may be telling yourself that obsessing over a breakup or a problem is actually ‘figuring things out.” No. Obsessing is obsessing.

So, how do you let go?

How do you let go of mourning and sadness?

How do you change when there are parts of you that are screaming, “I don’t want to!”

What if you have addictions? 

This is how you do it:

1. You must be brutally honest with yourself.

Your instincts, your body, your mind have all been trying to get your attention. We choose, yes CHOOSE, to ignore what we know is right. We make jokes, we keep ourselves busy so we don’t have to think about it…and while those work for a while, those strategies are not going to help you enjoy a good life.

2. You forgive. 

  • Forgive the friend for hurting you. Even if you don’t tell her or talk to her ever again. Forgive her for giving up on something you thought was worthwhile–your friendship.

  • Forgive the person who physically left you. (Even the people who died–you may be angry they left you.)

  • Forgive yourself. Forgive the parts of you that hold on to hurts, problems, addictions and bad habits. Be gentle and let yourself be as kind to you as you would be to a best friend.

Even if you don’t believe this, you need to say it over and over, either aloud or in your head. “I forgive me. I forgive him.” (You are letting go of  thoughts that could be harming you.)

3. You practice gratitude.

  • Be grateful for the time you had with a person even if they aren’t with you anymore.

  • Be grateful for the people and abundance you still have in your life.

  • Be grateful for the ability to change because, yes, you can always change.

4.  Finally, practice Acceptance.

  • Accept that you are human and you have made mistakes.

  • Accept that you may have problems or addictions that require help and support.

  • Accept that each day is a new day, a new chance to start over.

  • Accept that you need to show yourself love each and every day.

  • Once you have honestly assessed your situation, your behavior, your part in all that has transpired, then you will know what to do.

Pay attention because YOU WILL know what to do if you listen carefully.

You may decide you need to talk to someone to work through the problems. You may want support in the form of a group or counselor. You may just need quiet time each day to meditate. You may need to join a gym. WHATEVER it is, pay attention. You can release fear and anger and replace it with love, kindness and acceptance.

This is how Louise Hay explains letting go.

  • To “let go” is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself. 

  • To “let go” is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being. 

  • To “let go” is not to deny, but to accept. 

  • To “let go” is not to nag, scold or argue, but instead to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

  • To “let go” is not to adjust everything to my desires, but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. 

  • To “let go” is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future 

  • To “let go” is to fear less and love more.

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