Is life at age 60 any different than life at age 59?
Well, no, not really....
However, I have this number now. Sixty.
It signifies old. Ok Maybe older, but c’mon, we’re all thinking, she is getting up there!
So this is what I find. Knowing that I am this number, this 60, knowing that I have less time in front of me than behind me, makes me think about, really think about, how I am spending my time.
In other words, I don’t have time to waste.
With less time in front of me than behind me, I don’t want to waste any of it.
My 59-year-old-self, had time to waste. I was still in my Fifties. See the difference?
As I determine where I put my energy for the next thirty or forty years :) I think about time and energy and how much of both is wasted.
Think about the energy that we put into being annoyed and pissed off.
You may even know you are being irrational about a person’s action or actions, that it is really not that big of a deal, but they were really weird and inconsiderate for doing that, they weren’t even thinking and then she said... and so on and so forth... We all do this.
I am not going to give any of my energy to the bullshit anymore, unless, of course, it is bullshit I can do something about.
But all the stupid amounts of time I have wasted on the same old shit, the same thoughts, over and over...I mentally hit my forehead as I shake my head.
I think we fall into these habits naturally.
We go over and over the same old stuff and the same stuff happens and finally, if you are healthy, and strong and have learned to love yourself, you say, Enough!
I see now that the second half of my fifties, was all prep for this. I was letting go in a different way as I navigated this second adolescence.
I began to see patterns that I had allowed to continue in my life, attachments that weren’t healthy anymore and I was learning to let go.
It was another phase of growing up, to get closer to the adult woman I always wanted to be. I am almost her.
So I turned sixty and thought about all the good stuff that had happened in my life, all the bad stuff and all the moments that had passed so quickly, so very, very quickly.
It goes so fast, this life.
So I have no time for certain people or certain situations anymore.
I don’t want to carry any resentments and anger with me. I am dropping that load off and moving on.
I may never forget certain life happenings, but I will forgive as often as I can, and when I can’t I will try to send love through the universe to help me change.
Only I can heal me.
Only I can change my thoughts to ones of power and control.
I do not have time for bullshit and I will now call it out even louder than before.
I have no time for petty, insignificant tantrums that adults throw when they are caught doing something wrong.
I already devote meditation and yoga time to sending love and healing to myself and people who I may have hurt. I send love to people I care about but who I can't have a healthy relationship with.
I send love and thoughts of courage to people who struggle.
That is where I want my energy to go. I want my energy to go to the people who truly love and care about me exactly the way I am.
I want my energy to go to the weak and vulnerable and the people who can’t speak out for themselves.
I want my energy to be spent in love for myself, my relationships, and the world.
You don't have to wait to think about all of this. Think about it today.
Where do you want your energy to go?
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