There were many rules in my family but one of the most important was don’t get pregnant before you get married. My sisters and I were to present the perfect picture at all times. Don’t shame the family. I may have been in New Mexico, 1400 miles from my parents in Michigan, but those rules were like blood in my veins. I was a twenty year old mess, drinking heavily, trying to get through college, waitressing and scrambling for money for rent, food, health care, tuition and book

A worldwide pandemic. That is what we have all been through together. The whole world. That still amazes me. We know that people have had varied experiences during this massive upheaval of our lives. Yet all of us experienced the pandemic at the same time. We are going through the recovery at the same time. That fact fascinates me. I think of future generations and the stories we will tell. Remember the beginning? Shock. Fear. Confusion. Finally, acceptance that we had to sta

Your vision will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes. Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist. Do you know who you are? Seriously. Do you? I have always known who I wanted to be. What kind of woman I wanted to be. But I wasn’t always her and I am not always her. But I keep trying, standing up straighter, learning, leaning in, thinking and of course, trying to figure it all out. When I started my life coaching cert

Hey #NotAllMen We never said it was all men. And if you heard that, it’s not the majority. But the majority wants you to shut up. #NotAllMen You have not earned the privilege you think you have; to mansplain every fucking thing to us. Even our own realities. Especially our own realities. #NotAllMen Stop interrupting us; stop inserting your voice into our conversations. Your mouths need to close. #NotAllMen You must stop with your ridiculous need to not-let-us-get-a-word- In-w

Imagine this: The danger is not to women. Rapes don’t happen in society, but surprisingly, dicks get cut off quite often. At an alarming rate. We call this Castration Culture. Men complain but there is nothing society does to stop it. The newspapers talk about it and describe what the man was wearing and doing at the time that may have influenced him getting his dick cut off. The reporters get complaints about titillation in their reporting. People make jokes about it. Men ar

Right now, I have a group of men in my house, one of whom I know for a fact, strongly dislikes me. I’m okay with people not liking me most of the time but I don’t like feeling uncomfortable in my own home. I am in the process of renovating a bathroom. This is Week Four of strangers in my home. My tendency is always to be nice, but as an introvert who works at home it is always A LOT to have invaders in my space. Things have moved along with no overly obnoxious interactions a

I am tired of hearing about this violence over and over again. Rape. Rape. Rape Culture. Victims. Survivors.  Vulnerable women, youths and children. Their stories. Oh, so many stories. And now another one, closer to home. I was just told that a 14-year-old child of a friend was raped by her boyfriend. Same story. The same story I have heard so many times. As is often the case, this was her first introduction to what some term sex. I remember the friends in high school raped b

#TRIGGERWarning: Explicit & possibly upsetting content about #Rape NOTE: I edited this on February 12th, 2015, taking out the link to sign the petition at change.org. I am happy to report that the management at Heinz Hall DID THE RIGHT THING and Bill Cosby's appearance has been canceled. Amen. (Original post: 2015) I understand why the Heinz Hall Management in Pittsburgh is reluctant to postpone the Bill Cosby appearance. It’s about the money. It could be very expensive to pa