Reflection, Learning, Change
(Blog Post Updated January 11, 2018) Change. It takes time.
This has been an interesting year. I wanted to make quite a few changes. I finished with my last individual coaching client in January of 2012. I still had a few speaking engagements that I had committed to through Autumn, and then it was time to go forward with my writing. Meanwhile, I started experiencing a variety of situations and dealing with issues I had been helping my clients with for years. I think I was supposed to go through all of this. (More f*****g life lessons.) These are a few of the issues that have challenged me this past year:
Weight gain of five pounds right around my middle. I had to freak out about this for quite awhile. And, just so you know—the rules of physics do not apply to menopause. Seriously.
Time Management. I, the bragger who claimed that I could always fit in exercise and rest, started having time management issues.
Sleeplessness. In part because I am dealing with some horrible issues in my research, learning and writing.
Family. Loss, situations...you know--family stuff.
So, here I am, coming out of the past year with more wisdom, more information and more to share.
The first thing I want to remind every one of you, or inform those of you who don’t know this---Any change takes time. Repeat this to yourself. Change takes time.
AND, it takes way longer than you think it will. Weight loss---takes time. Changing patterns and habits---takes A LOT of time. Establishing new routines and schedules, WAY MORE TIME than you envisioned.
I knew this, but had forgotten it and had to re-learn. If it is worth it, it will take time.
I think that the biggest part of this, and the hardest for many of us to deal with, is patience.
Patience with ourselves.
It is difficult to cut ourselves some slack and give ourselves a break. That was one of things I used to do in coaching. I would help my clients take it a little easier on themselves and see their successes however small or slow.
I hired a writing coach last summer and she helped me see my progress. I have coached myself through the last few months, but that is more difficult. It is very hard to step away from yourself and your situation to spot self-sabotage, unrealistic or incorrect assumptions, or just plain craziness. A coach does help with all of that. So, even knowing what I know, the journey has been challenging.
So, here I am, reminding you to please, please, please, DO NOT beat yourselves up for sometimes moving slowly toward your goals!
Do not berate yourself when you make mistakes or fail. Always look for the progress, even if it is teeny-tiny progress.
Always look at the successes and learn from the mistakes.
Get help if you need it: A coach, a trainer, a support group or perhaps a mentor. Keep your vision in sight and just keep moving toward it.
Oh, and have some fun! I really need to remind myself of this as I work on the novel (very slow going) and continue my research about Human Trafficking.
I stop to laugh with friends and family and I make sure I am doing all the other activities I like to do in order to separate myself from the hard work.
You cannot be ON all of the time.
So, if you are in the process of making changes, wherever you are on your journey, take the time to reflect on what you want, and remember, if it's worth it, it will take time.
Be patient and don't give up. You and your goals are worth whatever time it takes.