“Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.” -John Lennon
We can make all the schedules we want, make plans, and keep a daily to-do list and these are all good habits if you want to accomplish a lot. However, life.
Life has a way of changing in an instant and in order to be happy and live a life of meaning and love, you need to be ready to adapt.
You wake up in the morning, and you truly don’t know what could happen. There could be amazingly good events, or not so good, or actually devastating.
I have many to-do lists, I manage two businesses and I have a very busy family life. But, I have learned, that even though schedules and plans are great ideas, you better be ready to change plans and thoughts in an instant or you will drive yourself crazy.
Often, those schedules get blown to hell. Completely. Nothing goes the way you thought it was going to go.
And here is the kicker, if you truly want to be happy, you have to learn to be ok with that. You have to come to terms with it. You have to make an effort to adapt.
I do know this: It is good to plan for the future. It does no good to look back unless you are measuring progress, and if you live in the present, the future will take care of itself. This is how I live and it works. However, life.
I just placed an additional note to myself on my Vision Board. It says, make life easier. In my eagerness to make healthy changes, to keep things “under control” which really isn’t even always possible, I complicate things. I know I am not the only person who does that.
Once in awhile, something will happen that can be absolutely devastating.
A death, a sickness, a serious situation, and it makes sense that we are completely thrown off balance. Those are the events that can turn your life upside down and your reactions of fear and hurt are normal.
But, there are people who are crushed when plans change even a bit, get angry with themselves or others over minor inconveniences, and let their whole day be ruined when something goes even a little bit wrong or goes in a direction that was unanticipated. Yes, we can have life-changing events, but I am talking about the hundreds of changes that can take place in our lives at any given moment. One event changes their whole thought process and their default reactions are depression, fear and negative thoughts.
So how do you learn to “go with the flow” ?
I have the answer for you. This has worked for me. It is actually working for me right now.
Take the time to think about what you want in your life. What are the most important parts of your life? You may want to make a list.
Now here is the secret to keeping calm. Pick the top three. These are the absolutely most important parts of your life.
When you are thrown off, feel discombobulated, presented with something mildly distressing or completely awful, go back to those three and just take care of those. You will find (I would bet on this!) that everything in your system will calm down. Racing heart, aggravation—all those common stress reactions.
Mine are: Love and take care of myself. Love and take care of my family. Be kind.
In Diana world, this covers everything. So when an event presents itself that throws me, or when something truly bad happens, I go back to basics: My three top items.
If it sounds too simple, it’s because you are used to complicating much in your life.
Here is an example of how this could work if you had the same top three as I do. Let’s say I got hit with a financial loss of some sort.
Back to basics: Love myself. I calm myself down with some deep breathing and reassure myself that I am strong enough to handle whatever happens. I love myself so I trust me.
Love my family and take care of them. I figure out how we will take care of the day-to-day and reassure all so they won’t be scared.
The third item, be kind, connects me to resources and people in the world who I have interacted with in my life. This could lead to help, support, listening ears, possibly financial leads and job offers.
It takes the pressure off of you if you have a top three. No matter what, you have a plan. For it all. For life. For all the shit and all the wonderful stuff.
All of it.
Oh, and make sure you stop and say thank you for all the good you do have in your life.
Amidst everything, there is always good.